The Conversion of England

英格兰的皈依

NOTICING some fair-haired children in the slave market one morning, Pope Gregory, the memorable Pope, said (in Latin), ‘What are those? ’ and on being told that they were Angels, made the memorable joke ‘Non Angli, sed Angeli’ (‘not Angels but Anglicans’) and commanded one of his Saints called St Augustine to go and convert the rest.

一天早上，教皇格里高利¹（一位令人难忘的教皇）在奴隶市场注意到一些浅色头发的孩子，他（用拉丁语）问：“那是什么？”有人告诉他，那些小孩是天使，教皇便开了句著名的玩笑 “他们不是天使（Angels），而是盎格鲁人（ Anglicans）”，随后派遣他手下一名圣徒，即圣奥古斯丁²，去英格兰改变当地人的信仰。

The conversion of England was thus effected by the landing of St Augustine in Thanet and other places, which resulted in the country being overrun by a Wave of Saints. Among these were St Ive, St Pancra, the great St Bernard (originator of the clerical collar), St Bee, St Ebb, St Neot (who invented whisky), St Kit and St Kin, and the Venomous Bead (author of The Rosary).

圣奥古斯丁在塞内特登陆，并在英国各地的巡游，他的到来改变了英格兰人的信仰，使这个国家出现了一大波圣徒。这些圣徒包括圣伊弗（St Ive）、圣潘卡拉（St Pancra）、伟大的圣伯纳德（the great St Bernard，牧师领的发明者）、圣比（St Bee）、圣俄博（St Ebb）、圣尼欧特（St Neot，他发明了威士忌）、圣济特（St Kit）、圣金（St Kin）以及尊者比德³（the Venomous Bead，玫瑰经的作者）。

England was now divided into seven kingdoms and so ready were the English to become C. of E. that on one memorable occasion a whole Kingdom was easily converted by a sparrow.

英格兰现在分成七个王国，它们已经准备好转变为英格兰教会。在那个令人难忘的时段， 即便是一只麻雀也能轻易改变一整个国家的信仰。

Wave of Egg-Kings

鸡蛋国王的浪潮

Soon after this event Egg-Kings were found on the thrones of all these kingdoms, such as Eggberd, Eggbreth, Eggfroth, etc. None of them, however, succeeded in becoming memorable – except in so far as it is difficult to forget such names as Eggbirth, Eggbred, Eggbeard, Eggfish, etc. Nor is it even remembered by what kind of Eggdeath they perished.

这一事件发生不久后，各个王国的王座上迎来了一批以鸡蛋（egg）为名的国王，比如埃格伯德（Eggberd），埃格布瑞斯（Eggbreth）， 埃格弗罗斯（Eggfroth）等。然而，他们中没有一个人能成功地让大家记住，更别说他们是如何丧生，蛋碎而亡（Eggdeath）的了。只有那些拥有实在令人难忘名字的国王是例外，比如蛋生（Eggbirth）、蛋养（Eggbred）、蛋胡子（Eggbeard），蛋鱼（Eggfish）。